So today i worked from 10:15-3:15. It was a funny day.

It began on the bus. well, it began when i woke up, but the fun began on the bus. When we hit a certain stop, a whole class of little boys and girls hopped on. or tripped. you name it. they were all dressed in yellow rain jackets--you know, the yellow jackets with buttons and hood and all. So i sat up so they could all sit together. they were cute. Life seemed so simple. they have simple, but daring herioc missions: get on the bus and find a seat. or even simpler: right foot, left foot. I couldn't help but smile. I was jealous! completely jealous of the tykes. jealous of the simple life they have. When they made it to their stop, the doors opened and they all shuffled out, one by one like ducklings. the door almost crushed one kid, but he didn't seem to notice. Then a buzz sounded--something to do with the doors being pushed too many times--and the kids started running and one kid said, "fire! fire!" I actually loled.

At work, this really bratty, teary eyed girl was tugging on her mother's pants howling away. I was organizing some kitchen utensils. I work at this store called Benix and company. it's homeware stuff... like plates and forks and pans and whatever. anyway, the mother of the girl was fuming, and said, "do you want me to go tell Santa not to bring a present on Christmas?" hah. i laughed. inside. she was like, "no... no. please don't." then she jumped up and went "wooOH woOOOh WoOOOh" like she was at a ride or something. i do that at work sometimes to scare customers away. this one time, there was this trolley in the middle of the hall, and i ran and jumped on it and skated till friction forced me to stop. i got in twouble. and a couple laughs :D. always worth a laugh. cept when plates and cups get hurt.

so yea. i can't wait till winter conference... man. my life feels like, right foot, left foot, lately.

I watched a program last night on CBC. It was the untold stories of survivors from the tsunami's in Thailand. It was heartbreakingly sad. please brace yourself.

One story was so profound. This man had gone for a vacation, sold all his crap so his family could all have a wonderful time. They were recording with a video camera, and his young daughter was like, "We're here in Thailand--look at the beautiful view we have!" So they go on recording, and they see this brown water coming from the sea... Everybody starts panicking, and soon enough the 20 metre wave is spotted. When the water collides with the shore, everything is ripped apart. The man tries to keep his family together, but can only hold on to his youngest son. They both get dragged under, and the man thinks to himself, "I'm pulling my son down, the only way he can survive is if I let go..." so he does. He said it was the biggest regret of his life.

I wonder what it is like to lose a son. This human being that you love, that you adore beyond any worldly sense. What is it that drives the urgency of love in such a hectic and horrific situation? Some say it's your unconscious desire for your offspring to survive so your species can survive. Other's say it's neural activity in the brain-just some waves shooting back and forth in response to certain stimuli. there are many other ridiculous theories to explain love. They will never get it. somebody tell them to stop trying.

I know that God lost his son. I have not shed one tear. but he didn't die so we could greive two thousand years later. it must have been very hard for Him. and very hard to believe in Him if you have lost your son. But couldn't God sympathize?

I read stories about the tsunami where God performed some amazing miracles. People don't hear about these stories. Why is that? People are so quick to excuse such stories. Many fell from their faith, and many strengthened their faith from this experience. I have no idea what would happen to me. Would I be angry at God? Would I blame myself If I was in that situation, letting go of my son's hand thinking i'd save him? i don't believe i am any better than those i am accusing.

Just the hour before, I had been complaining about the most frivalous thing, and i felt terrible for doing so. Why does it take death to motivate me? I wonder why i'd do anything for someone who i knew was going to die tomorrow. It's strange, certain states of mind you put yourself in. It's like in the moment you are there your world changes. Like being madly in love with someone, then 2 years later cringing at the thought. You were sure you were in love, but why does it seem so distant and obscure?

Some people say if they could only see God do something right before their eyes, they would believe. Pascal said that even if God did something metaphysical, it would be beyond our reasoning to accept. It would only convince people in the moment, then later they would think they were deceived. Such is faith based on a miracle. Jesus never wanted as much, asking people not to say anything. So why do people need to need a glimpse of God's power when it already exists in the eyes of an infant, and between the love of parent and child? Why believe in God?

He has always loved you, that's for sure. His son died for you as well. He wanted to save us from death, and considers us all children. He too has that indescribable love for us, and loves us even if we fall. regardless of what you think, he still cares for you, and prays for you. try talking to him, if you haven't--it's something you'll never regret.

yes... yes. I have decided to blog at both xanga and blogger if only to appease my desire to reside in both worlds-xanga and blogger. It's like an unspoken war... well, it is spoken i guess. "You use xanga! Pfft! lamo!" (that wasn't, and doesn't sound like me.) Conversely, "Oh, you use blogger? uhh, ok." For some reason, I wonder if xanga was created for asians. It's like the word xanga is derived from an asian letter or something. I see a Japanese dude with a samurai sword screaming "XANGA!!" while running to his doom. Or, I hear people screaming "XANGA!!" while playing Jenga. it'd work. people could probably make a whole language with the word xanga. "Xan. Xaxanga. X? Anga!"

woh... anyway.

Yea, so i look forward to leaving comments on all my Calgary buddy's blogs. This blog is pretty much designed for that reason, since I suck at emailing everybody. So, i have officially joined the Blogger tribe, and still remain loyal to my Jenga site. This could be potentially deadly.

I finished my last exam today. ugh... thank you God. lol, it's like this burden lifted off my shoulders.




i can finally love again.
Like how my chipmunk friend
is givin' some love.

Well, after much contemplation I decided [to blog both at xanga and blogspot]. brb, i'm hungry... ok, back. After much more contemplation I decided on cereal, and even then I had to decide how much milk to pour. How much milk in your cereal is key. Some like cereal soup. Some prefer their cereal chunky and dry. I personally go with a happy medium, so I can dive my spoon under the cereal and then shower it with milk. Yes, I eat cereal with a spoon. I think you can tell a lot about a person by how much milk they put in their cereal. Or if they eat cereal with a fork.

Anyway, today I studied for the first time in a while (like, way back in the day. you know, in the good old days). It was exhilerating. Ro and Viv were with me. Or rather, I was with them cause it was like a whole new world for me, sitting down in a library and studying. I felt like the library was watching me. Every time I turned my chair, it was as if I disturbed the equilibrium of the walls around me. The books were nice to me though. Every time I'd pass them they beckoned me, but I told them I had to study. We studied for 6 hours straight, from 3 something to 9 pm. Though, I went to the washroom a lot, so minus 3 hours. haaah, I joke. I did go to the washroom tho to.... you know, and to wash my hands after eating my orange. Whenever I stepped outside of the silent study room, I felt bad cause I kept making noise. There was this girl who kept turning her head. I was going to offer her some chocolate, but they melted. I considered my bruised banana, but the stem was already ripped off (I think my backpack tried to eat it). It didn't look appealing anyway. It went down my throat like a smoothie when I ate it. I didn't ask her if she liked smoothies, oh well.

Have you listened to Goo Goo Doll's Better Days?

Hmm... feels like I posted my last blog yesterday. A week ago, yesterday. daha. So I'm tired, and my rooms a mess. daha. goodnight.

There's about 5 days in between each of my posts. Not bad.

So I've been hoping lately. I woke up quite distressed the other morning, so I went straight into the word. I flipped to Romans 8 and I started reading the passage most convenient for line of sight, which happened to be verse 18. It speaks of present sufferings compared to future glory. I was hopeless, lying there on my bed letting my thoughts get ahead of me. Then I read something, "For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has?" It was a good verse, cause after that I started hoping instead of brooding. That day was amazing. I spent the whole day with God.

Today, I had to say bye to Nicole. I'm still not used to the bye thing, in fact I'm still terrified of it. I don't like saying goodbye, it's rather silly. Why can't we all just live next to each other like they do in Japan? It'd make keeping in touch easier. Well, Da Wei likes goodbyes. He said he, "Likes the moment." He's weird. But then again he's used to the goodbye thing, being a grampa and all.

My room is a mess, and I said I'd clean it after Dan left. Didn't happen. There are folders, random papers and drugs all over my table. Not sure where the drugs come in all of this. A couple bibles too. And it's almost nice to find "Would You Like to Know God Personally?" booklets all over my floor. Actually, maybe that's a bad thing.

I think this day has expired. I must rest my head, and my mouth. It tends to wander off--my head as well as my mouth.

tootles.

lol. Great time to update my blog. I can barely talk, my jaw is squishy, and typing is just about the only thing i can do (had my wisdom teeth removed). Anything else is entertainment for those around me.

Well, Dan has left. The last week that we was here was probably the best time i've had in Vancouver (enjoying its attractions anyway). We went to the Stanley Park, went to the aquarium, and then to Seattle. it was super.

lol. i'm drooling. I'm trying to eat this chinese rice porridge and the spoon keeps hitting my chin.

What do you write in blogs? Oh, I found a bracelet in my suitcase and it isn't mine. Is it yours? If it is... then I could mail it to you--that is, after I get it out of my dog. JK! jk about the dog part.

When I got home and saw my guitar, it was like seeing an old friend again. I...I can't explain it. She's been good to me all these years.

Well, off just about to hit the floor cause I took some drugs, so I best prepare by lying down on my bed.

Cheerio!